Never an Absolution
by robyn redhead
Summary: Amelia Forester is taken on a first class trip on Titanic with her wealthy aunt, whose plans involve marrying Amelia off to a wealthy man. But what will happen when Amelia meets a certain White Star Line Officer? Officer Lowe/OC. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all This is just a small thing I was thinking of the other day, and decided to write it down. It's basically going to be an Officer Lowe/OC, but this first chapter and possibly the next few will just be a bit of background and character building. I have listed it under Titanic fanfiction, but this story does not really use any of the characters from the film, only that the I have imagined the Officer Lowe to be the one in the film (aka Ioan Gruffudd) Please enjoy, and please leave a review, as they really help me to write more! Robyn x**

"Amelia, if you honestly do not hurry up, there will be trouble, you hear!"

The shrill voice of my aunt rang up the stairs to my bedroom, as loud and clear as though she were standing in the room with me. I sighed and made a face at the reflection in the mirror of my dressing table. The pale, dark haired girl made a face back at me. I had just spent the best part of half an hour staring at myself in the mirror, and was no closer to accepting the person that stared back at me.

This had become a regular occurrence over the past few years; ever since my aunt had requested my presence at her weekly dinner parties, in which she entertained guests with her lavish supplies and luxury upholstery. These little "get-togethers" as my aunt referred to them as, had been happening every Friday evening for as long as I could remember. Most likely ever since I had come to live with my aunt at the age of six, when my father sadly passed away. I had never known my mother, for she died in childbirth; a tragedy that was not uncommon during the winter of 1896.

But it had only been since I turned thirteen, that I had been required to sit at the table with rich, elderly guests whose life story bored me to death over dinner week in week out. And this evening would be a special occasion, I had been told. It was a few days before my sixteenth birthday, and I was quite sure my aunt was planning something I was unlikely to be thrilled by.

I knew that there would be many young girls, who would only dream of living a luxurious lifestyle such as my own, with new dresses every week, and a bedroom bigger than some peoples whole houses. But to me, the dresses were merely items of restraint, the grand bedroom a vast, lonely space to retire to.

I knew it was ungrateful to view things in such a way, but years of being fussed over, and forced into making idle conversation with people three times my age had left me feeling rather bitter about everything.

"Amelia! Get down here this instant!"

Sighing again, I gave my reflection one final despairing glance, before departing my bedroom. With as much elegance and dignity as one could muster while wearing several layers of silk and lace, I made my way down the main staircase, to where I could see my aunt; the wonderful Lady Eglantine, frills galore, stood looking stern as ever.

"Amelia Forester, I have never known any such young lady take so long to get ready as you, dear girl! Our guests are due to arrive any moment." I liked how she referred to them as "our" guests, when I doubted very much whether anyone who came to our residence this evening would ever remember my name.

"And, oh!" my aunt gasped as she took in my appearance properly "You have not even powdered your face! And-oh my gosh!" She was cut off as the shrill ting of the door bell rang through the house.

"Good lord they're here," she said, hurriedly smoothing down her many skirts "Well, let's just be thankful that you are naturally pale. Now, places people!"

She bustled off into the entrance hall, leaving me feeling as melancholy as I had done up in my bedroom. Taking a deep breath, I braced myself for another evening of boredom and food, and followed my aunt through the glass doors.

x-X-x

"Mr Pamellson-Brown, you've met my darling niece, Amelia?"

"Of course, of course!" boomed a large, beefy man with a rather red face "Pleasure as usual, Miss Amelia. How are the horses?"

"Horses, Sir?" I enquired, but there was no point. Mr Pamellson-Brown had already bustled off, glass of red wine clutched tightly in his fist.

Greetings were often made in this way. Men and women alike would make curious comments to me, most likely thinking me to be somebody different, or else their memory impaired by years of wealth and luxury.

"_Mister_ Doonan, and Mrs Doonan, what a pleasant surprise. I am _delighted_ that you came again. You remember my niece, Amelia?"

"Yes, yes," said Mr Doonan, his long curly moustache quivering as he spoke.

"You are the ballet dancer, are you not?" said Mrs Doonan, leaning toward me in an interested fashion.

"N-no," I said, "Not me!"

"No no," interjected my aunt quickly "No ballet for my dear Amelia. The girl's always been far more interested in reading! Now, have you seen this 18th century vase over here, quite a remarkable piece..."

My aunt led the Doonan's across the room, gesturing to me discreetly that I should walk around and appear interested in people, at least until dinner was called.

Looking about the rather crowded room, I searched for something that would make me feel slightly less awkward. Spotting Maisie, my dress maid, hovering near the glass doors, I hurried over. At least conversation would not be swayed to topics of money with _her_.

"Good evening, Miss," said Maisie, curtseying when she saw me "You are looking lovely this evening, I must say."

"Yes yes," I said, hating compliments of any sort "Thank you."

There was a pause for a moment, while we both surveyed the scene in front of us.

"You're aunt is looking dazzling tonight, is she not?" said Maisie. My aunt was in the middle of the room, surrounded by people, and seemed to be literally radiating. Perhaps it was due to the shining beads on her skirts, or maybe confidence and elegance really _were_ the key to a good appearance.

"Indeed," I said "You don't happen to know what she's got planned for this evening, do you Maisie?"

"No, Miss. None at all. But I'm sure it will be something most pleasant for your sixteenth."

"Hmm." I said, not convinced.

A bell tinkled from the other side of the room, and one of our smartly dressed waiters, Jenkins I think it was, though it was hard to tell from so far away, announced that dinner was ready to be served.

At this point, I found myself propelled forward with a general throng of people, including my aunt, toward the revolving doors that lead to the dining room.

"Amelia, dear, you'll sit up next to me. Yes, there. Next to Mr and Mrs Hartley."

The massive dining table that stretched practically to the full extent of the room groaned under a galore of food, drink and table decorations.

I was glad, for the most part, that the food provided a convenient distraction that saved me having to converse much with the Hartley's. After all, it cannot be deemed ladylike to talk when one's mouth is full.

The main course was cleared away, and dessert brought out in a flurry of waiters, dishes and meringue. When the dessert plates, too, were cleared away, and a lull in the chatter of the evening showed that our guests were pleasantly full and tired, my aunt stood up, and tapped her glass delicately with her knife, indicating she was about to address the whole party.

This was not unusual. She often chose to make long speeches after dinner, particularly if she had drunk copious amounts of wine. These speeches would tire people out even more through their sheer length, if not with their uninteresting content.

"My dear friends," she began "I thank you all deeply for coming tonight. The evening has been most pleasant, and I do hope you have enjoyed yourselves."

There was a murmur of agreement around the table.

"However," continued my aunt "I believe there is one more thing that must be done before you all depart homeward. As I'm sure you are all aware, it is my darling niece Amelia's sixteenth birthday in a matter of days, which of course is a very special occasion."

My aunt gestured towards me, and then for some reason that resulted in my immense embarrassment, the people around the table applauded. I wasn't really sure why; turning sixteen didn't really seem like something that required congratulating on.

"And," continued my aunt, when the clapping has subsided "Because this is a special occasion, I feel it deserves a special gift. Daines?" She turned to Daines, one of the waiters who had been hovering in the doorway.

Daines produced a gold envelope from his pocket, and passed it to my aunt. I stared at it, wondering what on earth it could be. Knowing my aunt and her previous gifts to me, it was unlikely that the contents of the envelope would excite me.

As the envelope was passed over to me, I saw my name, _Miss Amelia Forester_ written on the front. The envelope itself was heavy, unusually so. I looked to my aunt, intrigued.

"Well, open it then!" she said.

I slit open the envelope, and tipped the contents into my hand; two first class tickets for the maiden voyage of RMS Titanic.

"What?-I-I can't-how?" I stuttered to myself, staring down at the tickets in surprise.

The Titanic, White Star Line's latest vessel, was due to make her maiden voyage that April, but apart from that I knew little of it. Although I had assumed that tickets had been booked in advance, with none more available, especially this close to the voyage.

"I've had them hidden away for such a long time," said my aunt, as though reading my thoughts.

And then the group of guests seated around the table, who I had largely forgotten about in my shock about the tickets, began to applaud again, and I was saved having to say much more.

x-X-x

When the guests had dispersed, all claiming the evening as "marvellous", and a team of staff had been left to clear up the debris, I found myself alone in the deserted lounge, still with the Titanic tickets clutched in my hand.

I picked my way across the room, stumbling over abandoned glasses and furniture, to the doors on the other side that lead out onto the patio. Despite the January chill, I unlocked the doors, and stepped into the cold night.

The moon was bright in the dark, crisp sky, and reflected down upon the water fountain on the lawn, and the strings of garden lights strung in the bushes that illuminated the entire garden. I looked down at the tickets in my hand, and sighed.

New York...for that would be where the Titanic would take me. Myself and my Aunt Eglantine, off on a voyage to America together. I couldn't help smiling to myself then; despite her constant referring to me as her "darling" niece, we didn't get along very well a lot of the time. Several days together in close proximity may prove to be challenging. There was a swirling in my stomach that was a mixture of nerves and excitement that had been present ever since the tickets had been given to me.

I knew that they had been given to me as a gift, and I was extremely grateful to my aunt, but I could not help an irrepressible feeling of foreboding. Perhaps it was the fact that I had rarely travelled out of my hometown of Banbury, and America suddenly seemed very, very far away.

"Amelia?"

Jumping slightly, I turned to see my aunt, still as elegant as ever, despite it being passed midnight, stood in the doorway.

"Whatever are you doing out here in the cold?"

"Oh!" I said, hurriedly "I was just err, um, regarding the um..." I glanced around the garden for a distraction "The fountain. It's looking lovely this evening."

"Yes," said Aunt Eglantine coming out of the door frame "It _is_ beautiful."

She looked down and saw the tickets in my hand.

"Thank you," I said, seeing her glance "For the tickets. What a wonderful treat."

"Yes," she said "I'm sure you will have a marvellous time. The Titanic is sure to be the grandest ship from the White Star Line yet. This is to be a trip to remember."

I nodded, regarding a moth fluttering past.

"And America, of course," continued my aunt "What an adventure that will be!"

"Indeed," I said, stomach twisting once more.

"Of course, Amelia," said my aunt, serious now "This is not just a trip for enjoyment."

"It isn't?"

"Of course not! There shall be many young, wealthy men when we dock in America, if not on Titanic herself! I plan to make some important calls and make sure that certain people will be accompanying us. Now, let us get inside and to bed immediately, it is far too cold to be stood outside here!"

And, with that, she turned and left me standing alone on the patio, feeling as though it would have been too good to be true that my aunt would have purchased Titanic tickets for me purely for recreational purposes.

Sighing, I turned and followed my aunt back inside.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi again! Next chapter up here, thanks to all those who have read so far, anyone else reading please do leave a review as they are really nice to get! Thank you to all those who have left reviews, I really appreciate your words and feedback. Probably the last chapter of background now, and hopefully in the next one, it will move onto the Titanic. Robyn x**

_Four months later._

Rain lashed down against the window, and my room had to be lit by lamps, despite it being nearly noon, due to the black clouds rolling in the sky outside. It was Tuesday, and I was due any minute to take the carriage with my aunt to Southampton. She was insisting we went up there early, in order to meet up with some of our travelling companions; the Jesson-Stuarts, who we would stay with in Southampton until it was time to board Titanic.

I was excited about our voyage; however I could not help feeling that our rendezvous with the Jesson-Stuarts may prove less than exciting. My aunt approved greatly of them, and if this was anything to go by, they would be old, rich, and boring.

Sighing, I gave my room one last sweep of an eye; checking I had packed all that I needed, and left. Downstairs, my aunt was stood in almost the exact place she had stood four months previously, and the only thing different to the scene now, was the presence of a pile of suitcases in the hall, and my aunt was dressed, not in a silk gown, but in a long, grey travelling coat.

"Ah, Amelia," she said when she saw me "Good, good. You know," she added, when she had given me a look up and down "You may wish to get Maisie to fix your hair more elegantly than that. There is still time."

I fingered my dark hair, which I had just let loose over my shoulders. We were only travelling, after all. I said this to my aunt.

"Ah, yes," she said, with a glint in her eye I was not entirely pleased with "But it is when we _arrive_ that you may wish yourself to be looking your best."

Confused, wondering why on earth I would wish to look my best for the Jesson-Stuarts, I had no more time to puzzle over it, for at that moment, we were called to the carriage, and no more was said regarding my hair.

-x-X-x-

The journey to Southampton was not a long one, but the roads we were forced to take were long and windy, and the carriage trundled along uncomfortably, despite the soft cushioning of the interior. It was boring, too, for there was little to occupy one's self with inside a small carriage. There was only so much scenery to look at out of the window, and even then it was too misty and rainy to be able to see much.

My aunt had been reading a newspaper in silence, but I was not surprised at this; we had always been strangely affectionate in a non-communicative way, and time together was usually a silent affair. But now, the newspaper was discarded on the velvet seat beside her, and my aunt's head had drooped onto her chest and she was fast asleep.

Reaching forward, I grabbed her newspaper and busied myself with the headlines, feeling as though it may bore me to sleep if not amuse me. There was the usual fair of political articles, most of which I merely skimmed over. Some man called Carl Jung had published his 'Theory of Psychoanalysis', and a farmer in Devon had lost a whole herd of cows. There was a mildly interesting feature where aspiring authors posted sample chapters of their work, but this annoyed me as there was no way of finding out what happened next.

What was actually very interesting was a double page spread on the Titanic, in which it was labelled 'unsinkable', and there were detailed drawings of the rooms inside. I _was_ excited, but there was still part of me that was-scared was not the word-but apprehensive of the coming voyage. Titanic was such a giant of a ship, and I was to be a mere ant in comparison.

At this point, before I had any more time to contemplate the insect-nature of my size, my aunt woke with a start, and scolded me for a) reading her newspaper and b) not waking her up. I sighed, and we resumed our reserved silence.

The sky had turned blacker than ever, and the clock in the carriage read that it was now early evening, before we passed I sign that I could just see that read 'Southampton'.

"The dock for Titanic is over there somewhere..." said my aunt, gesturing extremely vaguely out of the dark window.

"Oh really?"

"Hmm, yes..." she wasn't really paying attention. She appeared to be looking for something out of the window.

"Ah, yes!" she said suddenly "We're here."

"Where?"

"There. At the Jesson-Stuarts'."

I peered out of the window as the carriage slowed right down.

"But I don't see anything..." I said, seeing nothing but blackness out of the window.

And then my jaw dropped.

We had pulled up to a stop just down from what looked like a King's palace. I had thought our house was large, but it was nothing, _nothing_ compared to this. Each window was shining with a burning orange light, and the whole place was shining in the dark evening. The carriage in which Maisie and the rest of our staff were travelling in pulled to a stop behind us.

"The Jesson-Stuarts live _here?"_ I gaped, following my aunt as we exited the carriage down the little fold-out stairs.

"Of course. Now, stop gawking, girl, and look sharp. You are to present yourself neatly and politely, understand?"

I nodded, still staring in awe up at the house. Except I found it very difficult to think of this magnificent building as a _house_.

Our chauffeur held a large black umbrella over our heads as we shuffled up the gravel path to the front door, where we were greeted by a footman upon our knocking on the door.

"Good evening, Mrs Lovett, Miss Forester. What a pleasure. Do come in out of the rain."

We were taken by the footman in to a grand entrance hall, which was warm and brightly lit. A gold gilt mirror was hanging on one side of the hall, and I happen to catch a glimpse of the fright that was my appearance. I was pale from the cold outside, and my hair was dripping slightly from the rain. This was perhaps not the neat presentation my aunt had been hoping for. But there was no time to do anything about it now.

"Eglantine!" chorused voices. I turned to see an elderly couple in elegant dress coming in to the entrance hall from a side door. The man was large, with a white moustache and equally white hair and the woman had grey hair wound up in an elaborate bun.

"How wonderful to see you again," they said, wringing my aunt's hand enthusiastically "I hope the journey was not too troublesome?" said the woman I took to be Mrs Jesson-Stuart.

"No no," said my aunt, with a careless wave of her hand "It was all fine."

"Come now, Pamela," said Mr Jesson-Stuart, addressing his wife "Let us all go into the lounge for a beverage, shall we?"

"Of course, of course," said Mrs Jesson-Stuart, hurriedly.

Feeling extremely awkward, having been neither introduced nor even acknowledged, I followed my aunt and the Jesson-Stuarts into the lounge.

It took me just a moment to realise that we were not the only ones present in the room. Also there, was a young man of around eighteen or nineteen, with pale hair and hazel eyes that were set rather too closer together. He stood up as we entered the room.

"Ah," said Mr Jesson-Stuart "This is our grandson, William."

The man-William-, kissed her hand.

"And this," said my aunt, gesturing to me "is my niece, Amelia."

If there had ever been a time for an awkward introduction, it was there and then. Mr and Mrs Jesson-Stuart looked at me in surprise, as though seeing me for the first time, and William Jesson-Stuart raised his eyebrows and looked at me with slight distaste.

"Um, well," I said, yanking my hand from his, and faltering slightly under my aunt's glare "Pleasure to meet you all."

"And you, dear," said Mrs Jesson-Stuart, eventually.

There were a few moments of awkward silence, before we were saved by the arrival of a tray of drinks, brought in by the same footman who had opened the door to us.

"Ah, excellent!" boomed Mr Jesson-Stuart "A toast!" he said, as he quickly passed the glasses around "To a safe and happy voyage to us all!"

-x-X-x-

"It is your wish, is it not, that I am to fall in love with Mr William Jesson-Stuart?"

It was midnight, and my aunt was helping me out of my dress, Maisie having retired to bed long ago, while I had still been making idle conversation over a supper with the Jesson-Stuarts.

My aunt did not answer, continuing to unlace with corset on my dress. Then the un-lacing stopped, and she sighed.

"William Jesson-Stuart is, indeed, an ideal match for you, Amelia. Surely you can see that."

I didn't say anything. This was typical Aunt Eglantine. Never would we do something for the pure enjoyment of doing it. No, we were going on the Titanic with the Jesson-Stuarts in order for me to fall in love with William.

"But we are hardly an ideal match for each other!" I protested. This has been obvious enough when, whilst I attempted to make conversation with him, he had promptly told me that I should only speak to him should he speak to me first. "I should be miserable if I ever had to spend considerable time with him!"

My aunt finished unlacing my dress and turned to face me. "Amelia," she said "It is very that a person can be happy and successful at the same time. If William Jesson-Stuart ensures success for you, which I am quite sure he would, then I'm afraid the success would have to come at the cost of happiness. However," she sniffed "I'm sure you and William would learn to _get along_, as it were. In due course at least."

"But-

"Enough. Now, into bed at once. An early start tomorrow."

My aunt extinguished the lamps, and closed the door of the guest bedroom softly behind her. I climbed into the crisp, unfamiliar bed, feeling as if my excitement at travelling on Titanic was rapidly melting away, being replaced instead with annoyance at my present existence, and apprehension of the coming voyage.


End file.
